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新派武侠情色小说

《第一回
误打误撞得绝学 欲试神功偏惹祸
一日,TY为写论语课《论性》的论文,便于坊间买下一本《论性》书籍。回家后,
TY发现此书中「性」不同课堂上的「性」。但反而吸引他。因为这本《论性》所提
及的一招一式,同要以两人同练,故此,TY每便沉迷于物识对象之中。而因利成便
,有乜野仲好得过係班上便搵呢!

但话得说回来,以TY本身之个人条件,又岂容易在班上搵食呢?幸好,TY亦深知
自己之长处短处,于是每天均穿着「现『代』裤」出现,以吸引班上各大女性;果然
,班上各人均瞠目结舌,而且亦有一少女为之倾倒,宝剑看来可见血也。然限于本系
各「性」对象条件有限,因此TY弃暗投明,竟转攻另一系!幸好皇天不负有心人,
TY终于「执」到件「荀」野──貌似人猿,手长过肚,还要波平如镜呢!

虽然此人猿外貌狰狞身体仲发出一阵阵异味。当TY与此人猿过招,準备炫耀本领。
却赫然发现一山还有一山高。自己从《论性》书中上学的招式只是云云性学中沧海一
粟。正当TY打算束手待毙时,此人猿突然说:「傻仔,想不想学一招半式吗?」T
Y道:「当然想。」人猿道:「只要你在这七七四十九天内,服侍得我开开心心,我
就把 “闺房十式”传授给你。」

可惜,此人猿正值花样年华,无时无刻均如狼似虎,纵使是铁打的汉子也吃不消,何
况是身形如水桶的TY呢!眼看TY要精尽人亡之际,只见一辆印有「九巴」二字之
马车如电奔至,把TY从水深火热之中拯救上来。只见人猿气得牙痒痒。无他,到口
的肥肉跑掉,又怎不教人大怒呢!

TY死 逃生,连忙拜谢恩公。不看犹可,一看把几火。原来恩公正是江湖人称「慾
海大姑婆」的东瀛第一高手──E.HONDA。E.HONDA虽身怀绝技,奈何
天意弄人,她,竟是哑的!只见她不断发出一阵「荷荷」「嗳嗳」之声,似有话要说
。但TY此际只能叹一句:「What did she say?」

正当TY发愁之际,E.HONDA突然发难,如闪电般后扑上TY。右脚锁着TY
下盘,左手封着TY气喉,右手正正抓着TY下阴。正当此时,TY感到一鼓热气从
E.HONDA右手传到自己下阴,过了良久,E.HONDA突然于此时用心电感
应说:「我已传授你「九阳神功」的第一层,你现在的能力已非比寻常。你现在可下
山为所欲为。之不过……这「九阳神功」如只练第一层,必定走火入魔,所以,半年
后你必须再找我,共要寻找得「九阴真经」,我便传你九阳神功其余各层,否则你必
定走火入魔,下身溃烂而死!」TY闻言,大感吃惊!却无可奈何,告别恩师,準备
到中国城一试初成之功。岂料守门呀差见其相貌后即妈妈声的赶他走。TY只好退而
求其次,到了一所「有间酒店」,求求其其找了一位年过半百的「萧小姐」。大战之
初,TY恃其年轻力壮,尚能应付,岂料老娘下盘功极稳,TY渐处下风!剑势由「
刺剑势」一转为「收剑势」。刀锋一软,当下溃不成军!

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